Skip navigation! Story from Sex. Everyone has a different experience the first time they have sex. You might have heard that as long as it's with the right person, it'll be this all-encompassing and magical thing. You might also have heard that your first time will likely be painful and awkward. But having sex for the first time is so personal that there's no way of knowing if you'll have a magical experience, an awkward experience, both, or neither. As for the pain? That doesn't have to happen.
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Cause 1: Fear
There are a lot of myths around sexual activity, one being that your first time having sex will hurt. Others may include oral stimulation, fingering or handjobs, or anal penetration in their definition. Your definition could also include stimulation or penetration with a sex toy. Regardless of the type of sexual activities you want to try, there are a few general tips or rules you can use to make your first sexual experience more comfortable. Masturbating can help you figure out what feels good during sex, and it can help you feel more familiar with your body.
Back to Sexual health. When a woman has vaginal sex for the first time, it can be a little painful. You may also have some bleeding, but this isn't always the case. If bleeding happens, it's usually because your hymen has been broken during sexual intercourse. There are things you can do to lessen any pain, such as slow penetration and using a lot of water-based lubrication. Some people find that inserting fingers into the anus before penetration can help. Pain during sex is quite common, and affects men and women. Sex may be uncomfortable if you're not relaxed and aroused.
I was always warned growing up that it would hurt the first time I had sex. This was disappointing to hear, because I really looked forward to it and wanted my experience to match my excitement. I felt sad to think such a special moment would be tainted with pain — and angry to think my partner would get more pleasure out of it than me. When the moment came, I braced myself to "get it over with" and hopefully start enjoying sex one day in the future. I held my breath, waiting for my boyfriend's penis to go all the way in.